Noise
Inside the
purgatory of a poem,
there are silences
thin, blue silences
noiseless birds
flying
in shock
~
tell me about your childhood, girl
did you see
too many deaths?
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16 comments:
you know it all inam...dont you!!??
Neat like a surreal speck of silence.This appeals to the senses.....and somewhere the words get lost in the 'purgatory' of your thin blue silence.amazing!!
wow! that one hit me real hard!
Can I be your Ezra Pound? ... Then, for your entire poem, Only Keep:
"Noiseless birds
Flying
In shock "
Brilliant Lines.
And if you indeed consider the edit, it will sound like one other brilliant poem I'm extremely fond of:
Langston Hughes' poem "Suicide's Note"
The calm,
Cool face of the river
Asked me for a kiss.
one should know where to stop when begun..you know it,damn!!..you know it all!!
You've heard "Voices under sleep"
"The heaving of earth at nightfall,restless"
:)
i think you are very nice irrespective of the stuff u write.....:P
this is beautiful inam. beautiful!
"noiseless birds flying in shock"
THE showstopper!!!
image-ing noise...the ULTIMATE synaesthetic indulgence...,
nailing it hard...as ever!
keep going!
haunting. haunts me.
heyy, this is a fabulous poem!
THIS POEM IS LIKE A FLIGHT OF STEPS LEADING TO AN OLD DOOR THAT WILL BE CLOSED FOREVER...THE LINES WILL GO UP AND DOWN, COME AND GO, UNGLIMPSED!
Having just read through some of your work, this is my favourite. Potent, terse, and focused. A very good job.
Stark, minimalistic but yet capable of raising myriad visions.
Great stuff...
Awesome!
One of your best. Truly so.
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